Condom Comebacks

Adapted from the Head and Hands Sense Project Peer Education Training Manual, with input from TeenTalk MB.

Q – Don’t you trust me?

A – Yep, I trust you not to put us at risk for infection.
A – I do trust you, but either of us could be infected and not know about it. It would be much easier for me to relax and enjoy myself if I didn’t have to think about HIV or other STIs.

Q – You were carrying a condom with you? You were planning to seduce me!

A – You’re right! Just call me safety boy /safety girl . . . always ready for action.
A – I always carry one with me, just in case, because you never know what could happen.

Q – I can’t feel a thing when I wear a condom.

A – Well you won’t be feeling MY thing without a condom!
A – Move over here, sexy, and I’ll make sure you feel something.

Q – C’mon, I know I’m clean. I haven’t had sex with anyone for months.

A – Without a condom I won’t be helping you change that.
A – You can’t know that you’re STI free unless you’ve been tested at a clinic.

Q – Condoms are uncomfortable and tight.

A – They blow up to the size of my head. You’re not that big.
A – So is delivering a baby.

Q – That’s insulting! Do you think I’m a diseased dirtbag?

A – Nope, that’s not what I meant. But do you know how common STIs are? I just don’t want to take any chances.
A – That’s not what I said or implied. These viruses don’t care how many lovers you’ve had. They just want a way inside your body. I don’t have sex without condoms so I won’t have to deal with them.

Q – Condoms kill the spontaneity.

A – So does this argument. I don’t do penetration without a condom and lube, end of discussion.
A – It doesn’t have to be that way. I’ve got a condom right here in my pocket (nightstand drawer, fishbowl on the shelf, bin by the bar) and the lube comes in these handy individual use packages. We’re ready to go!

Q – Just this once!

A – Once is all it takes.
A – The risk just isn’t worth it to me.

Q – I’m a virgin.

A – I’m not. This way we’ll both be protected.

Q – I don’t have a condom with me.

A – I do.
A – I guess we’ll have to postpone until we get some!

Q – I won’t have sex with you if you’re going to use a condom.

A – Fine, there are plenty of people who will.
A – Well, why don’t we have sex some way that’s safe without it — get your hands involved, use your imagination!